Chapter 5

I changed my clothes and went out for a run. My plan was to do a few miles on my normal route. As I started to run I thought of Sidney. I hadn't talked to him since the dinner the week before. They were on the road and we hadn't exchanged numbers. I didn't mind either. I needed time away from him to think about the situation. After the dinner I found myself wishing that he wasn't going on the road so we could hang out some more. Now that my mind was clear I realized that Sidney could only be a friend and nothing more. I heard footsteps coming up behind me and turned to look. It was as if he was reading my mind. Sidney caught up to me and fell into step at my pace.

“Nice day for a run, eh?” he said. I smiled over at him and rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t know you ran.”

“Honestly I don't very often. I usually just get my workouts in on the ice, but I saw you run by my house and decided to join you.”

“Well, I hope you have the stamina for about four miles, because that was my plan,” I told him.

“I can handle it. I’m in great shape.”

“So cocky,” I said laughing. We stopped talking then and continued to run. About three miles into the run I noticed that his breathing was labored. I smiled and laughed to myself. Instead of finishing the run I jogged into the parking lot for a smoothie place.

“Why are we stopping?” he asked between breaths as if he wanted to keep going.

“You look like you’re about to pass out. I’m sparing you the embarrassment of falling unconscious in the middle of the road.” I walked inside and looked at the menu. “What looks good to you?” I asked him.

“I actually didn’t bring any money so I’m not going to get one,” he responded.

“Don’t worry, it’s on me. The $3 they cost isn't going to break the bank.” He smile, thanked me, and told me what he wanted. I ordered the two smoothies and we sat down at a table with them.

We talked a bit about his family and a bit about mine. While I told him that I grew up hockey was an important part of life with my family, I didn't tell him who my family was. It just didn't seem like the right time. I learned that he’d only had one girlfriend that he’d consider a serious girlfriend. All others had just been a few dates here and there. I told him that I’d been the same way but didn’t go into much detail. Just like keeping my family a secret I didn’t think that I could tell him about Thomas yet.

“Think you can finish the run back home?” I asked him when we were done with the smoothies. His eyes opened wide and he looked shocked.

“You can run after drinking something like that?” he asked.

“We did a big circle. We’re less than a mile away,” I told him laughing. “I thought you were in great shape.”

“Fuck you,” was his sarcastic response. I feigned mock horror before responding.

“Aren’t you a little young to be using words like that?” I asked. He gave me a shove as we walked out the door. “So immature.” I took off running and he had to catch up. I picked up the pace from the first three miles just to torture him.

“I know that you’re running faster to piss me off. Let me just tell you that it’s completely working,” he yelled up to me from two paces behind. I laughed and slowed down.

“You know, Crosby, if you hadn’t been so cocky I wouldn’t be such an asshole to you,” I explained.

“Asshole is right,” he agreed. We finished the run back to my house in silence. I had to admit that even I was hurting after drinking the smoothie. I almost felt bad about what I did to him. Almost.

“I guess you’ll never be running with me again.” His breathing was starting to come back to normal.

“Probably not if you’re going to be like that. On the other hand, because you were such a bitch about it, I think you owe me dinner.”

“Did you seriously just call me a bitch and then expect me to say yes to dinner?” I asked him, shocked.

“You do owe me for that run. You did it on purpose, I know it.” I opened my mouth to protest and then closed it again knowing that I had done exactly what he said.

“You’re not used to being turned down, are you?” I asked him. He smiled sheepishly as he told me no. “Look, it’s really flattering that you like me, but as I’ve told you before I’m just not interested. I’m really not trying to be an asshole by saying this but you’re just too young for me. You can’t even drink legally yet and I got my partying years out of me a long time ago.”

“What does drinking and partying have to do with it? Trust me I did my share in juniors. I hardly need to be out partying all the time anymore. It’s just dinner, not a commitment. What are you afraid of?” he asked. I’m afraid of actually falling for you if I let myself get too close and ending up in the same position I was in with Thomas, I thought.

“I’m not afraid of anything. Fine, we’ll go to dinner, but only because I owe you for being mean, not because this is a date.” He stepped towards me so his face was only inches from mine and smiled.

“We’ll see. Be ready at 7.” With that he moved away and jogged back to his house. I couldn’t help but laugh at his cockiness. I’d have to take him down a notch. I walked into the house to shower and get ready for dinner.

“I hope you like sushi,” Sidney said when I got into the car.

“I love it.” We went to a sushi place I never even knew existed. It was small and intimate and I gave Sidney a disapproving look when we sat down at a table in a dark corner. He just smiled at me and started to look at the menu. We picked out our rolls and gave the order to the waitress.

“So much for this not being a date,” I said to him. "Could it be any more intimate?"

“Hey, I just like this place, that’s all,” was his response. Then he laughed at me. “Nice talent.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked confused.

“The eyebrow thing,” was the response. I put a hand up to my eyebrow involuntarily.

“Did I raise it?” I asked. He nodded. “I don’t even know when I’m doing it, but it’s been pointed out to me before.”

“Don’t worry, it’s cute.” I was about to remind him that we weren’t here on a date when the rolls came. The conversation became lighter as we ate. Neither of us made a move to leave when the food was done. I could see why Sidney liked this place. The rolls were some of the best I’d ever had and there weren’t many people. He could enjoy his privacy while out for once. As we talked my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Loralei? It’s Thomas,” a familiar voice said to me. My heart skipped as I wondered how he’d gotten my phone number.

“What is it?” I asked turning away from Sidney as if he wouldn’t be able to hear what I was saying if I did.
“I’m in Pittsburgh right now. We’re playing the Penguins tomorrow. I was just hoping that we could talk. I have some things I really need to talk to you about.” Thomas Vanek was my first and only love and currently a star for the Buffalo Sabres. I glanced over at Sidney before responding.

“I don’t know if-“

“Please, it won’t take long. Just give me a chance. I’m staying at the Marriott by the Mellon Arena. I’m in room 352.” I thought for a moment. I didn’t know if it would be a good idea to go see him.

“I’ll be right there,” I said finally and hung up. I looked up at Sidney. “I’m really sorry, there’s an emergency at the clinic and I have to go in. Could you bring me home?” I lied.

“Sure, of course. I can bring you to the clinic if you want,” he offered.

“No, I need my car. I could be there for a few hours and I wouldn’t have a way home otherwise.”

Sidney got the bill, paid and then brought me home. After he left I got in my car and drove to the Marriott. I hesitated in the lobby still unsure if this was a good idea. I hadn’t spoken to Thomas since we’d broken up. I built up my courage and took the elevator to the third floor. I paused for a minute outside the door before I knocked. The door opened and Thomas was standing there looking as good as ever.

“I’m really glad you came,” he said stepping aside so I could come in.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked getting right to the point keeping my arms crossed protectively.

“I wanted to say I was sorry about everything that I did to you. I should have been up front with you from the start. It wasn’t fair of me to lie to you about Ashley. I really did love you Loralei, but when I met Ashley I developed feelings for her too and I should have told you.” He looked at me waiting for a response.

“Was that what you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked him. He nodded yes and I moved to the door. “Thanks. Good luck tomorrow.” I reached for the doorknob when I felt his hand grab my arm.

“Lee-lee, wait.” Tears came to my eyes when I heard him use the nickname he had for me. I thought of how when he first saw my name written down in a class we had together he thought it was pronounced Lora-lee. It became a joke between us and eventually a nickname for me. He turned me around to face him. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. It’s been three years and I still think about you all the time. The truth is that if you had let me, I would have chosen you over Ashley. I was in love with you. I still think I am. I miss you, so much.”

My stomach was tying itself in knots and my heart felt like someone was squeezing it as hard as they could. I knew it was going to hurt to see Thomas but this was unexpected. For a moment I let myself think about what my life would have been like if I was still with him. This couldn’t be happening to me. For a long time this was exactly what I’d been hoping to hear from him until I’d told myself it wasn’t worth it. Now he was saying it and I didn’t know what to do.

“You hurt me, more than I think you know. You broke my heart,” I said to him through tears. He stepped closer to me until his face was inches from mine. I was trapped between him and the door.

“I know. I’m just hoping that you’ll give me another chance. Let me repair the damage I did.” He leaned in and put his lips to mine. My head told me to push him away and leave but I couldn’t make my body do it. Instead I kissed him back. It felt better than I remembered to kiss him and have his arms around me. Then I thought of Sidney. For just a second I imagined it was him I was kissing instead of Thomas.

“What about Ashley?” I asked when the kiss ended.

“Ashley and I aren’t working. I’m ending things between us.” I sighed and fell into his arms. We began to kiss again. The kiss started off lightly but quickly became desperate. Before I knew what was happening we were tearing each others clothes off.

“What about your roommate?” I asked breathlessly as we fell back onto the bed.

“He’s out for the night with some of the other guys. He won’t be back for a while.” That was good enough for me.

When I got home later I told myself that what had just happened was just a dream. There was no way I’d just spent the last few hours with Thomas. It had been just like old times. We’d talked and laughed about everything. He told me about Buffalo and his teammates. I just hoped that he’d meant what he’d said that night.

I thought of Sidney again and wondered why I'd thought of him while kissing Thomas and why I'd thought of kissing him instead. I just didn't have feelings for him like that. My mind had no answer for me and I chose to push the thought out of my head and never think of it again.

When I received a phone call from Thomas the next day my heart skipped and I smiled. He wanted to keep us being back together a secret until he’d had a chance to tell Ashley that things were over. At first I balked at it, but then he told me he didn’t want to do to her what he’d done to me and I grudgingly agreed. He promised to call when he got back to Buffalo and I couldn't wait to talk to him again.